Thursday, October 15, 2009

'Trapped' by mick.

''HELP! ANYBODY! I'M TRAPPED! PLEASE, SOMEONE...''.Eoin was trapped in his hotel room, surrounded with metal doors, with all his luggage is in the hallway, no food and no drinks. Eoin's day was fine...then...not so fine, he got trapped! In his hotel room! If someone does not find him in time, Eoin's would be history! His phone is outside! He can't contact anyone!

Eoin was so exited! It was the day when Eoin starts his new job, rating hotels. For his new job he had to give out five stars, the first star is for good food service, the second for noise level, third star for the room space & design, 4th star is for good food and the 5th star for originality.Eoin was on his first hotel to rate! When Eoin got to his room, he had a room with damaged sprinklers, the hotels policy was to keep everyone safe, so the smoke alarm activates the sprinklers, the sprinklers activate the metal doors.That same day Eoin left his door open, at the same time, the neighbours were baking cookies, the smoke came in... the smoke alarm...BOOM!!! he knew that sound... the metal doors!!!

Eoin was trapped! He was starting to panic ''What is going on'' He said out loud. The metal doors were loud as they slammed to the ground.Eoin was trapped till night, without eating anything, and the thing was... he's alone, and still waiting for someone to come ''If the smoke alarm went, surely the firemen would've came, probably cause my alarm is broken'' thought Eoin in his head all night.

Eoin was still awake, looking for somewhere he could escape, he found nothing but he found a window that was not slammed with metal, he looked, but it was too high for him to climb out of. The sun started come luckily Eoin's door wa still open, and the lady from next door came in, she called for help!

Finally, the firemen were here, Eoin smashes the window and the firemen climbed through with there ladder.Eoin was too dizzy to go down the ladder so one of the men called a helicopter to bring them down, it actually worked!

The firemen got Eoin out safely, Eoin saw his mum rushing to him ''Oh my poor baby'' she said ''Mum your embarasing me'' replied Eoin ''Get the kid a drink'' said the chief ''and get me a flat white'' Anything else'' asked one of the men
''With marshmallows'' replied the chief, until another BOOM!!! another... hotel room with metal doors.
''Well, anyway'' said Eoin
''What'' said the chief
''ZERO STARS FOR EVERYTHING, WORST HOTEL EVER!!!''


5 comments:

Sully said...

hahahahahaha i am rolling on the floor laughing i would never stay at that hotel i would give it 0 stars aswell. keep it up.

Sully

Anonymous said...

I loved the end I started cracking up when I read it. I hope you write more stories like this.

Mohsin said...

Mohsin said...
It was a AMAZING story nice mickey

American Teacher said...

This narrative was exceptional and it was delightful.The time he got trapped appealed to me the story is so tremendous that i'm going to read it to my children in Welshdale elemantry Rm12.

Becca said...

WOW! Mick, your story is awesome! Very funny, and so great that a teacher in AMERICA likes it! Great job!
-Becca :)